Today in my Internet radio show I addressed a caller's question about how to be the one calmly in charge when your kids are annoying each other at the kitchen table, day in and day out, while you attempt to make dinner in peace. One of the points I made was that as long as we, as parents, are resisting what IS--in favor of believing things should be different than they are--we experience stress. And stress is what throws us off our game, and causes us to lose it.
Soooooo, when the kids are chewing on each other at the table while they pretend to do homework, the first step is to come alongside the reality rather than resisting it.
The Captain of the Ship doesn't spend time explaining why the storm shouldn't be happening-- he/she looks for the best way out. Afterwards, he or she looks to see how they might have AVOIDED the storm altogether.
When your kids are messing with each other at the homework table, ask yourself: "What are they getting out of it? How is it serving them?" Kids--people of all ages-- do things for a payoff, even if what they're doing is a lousy way to get what they want.
For a continuation on this topic, come back and read more in my next blog! Don't forget to visit my website, www.susanstiffelman.com and sign up for my newsletter.
Cheers!
Susan
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